The Fall of Broadcast Television 2014: FOX

(With no further delay...)

Good Thursday to you, dear reader!

Welcome to the belated day 2 of my annual-ish look at the broadcast network upfronts.

I hope you enjoyed my surprisingly minimalist look at the even more surprisingly top-seeded network, NBC...but now it's time to get serious.

I'll be honest. This is the entry I've been dreading the most. There's a pretty big elephant in the room, and I'm about to blow some minds by pumping it full of lead. (Apologies for the graphic imagery, PETA; but to be fair, you're a terrorist organization.)

Let's just rip this Band-Aid off and get started with my look at the new fall offerings from the FOX Network.

(NOTE: New shows are listed in ALL CAPS; schedule changes are indicated by italics.)

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MONDAY

8-9pm - GOTHAM

9-10pm - Sleepy Hollow

GOTHAM: (Sorry, Dumbo. Here's where you get it between the eyes.) I have never preemptively hated a TV show and its fanbase more than I do that of Gotham. I know that's going to surprise a lot of people, given my well-known love of all things comic book...but I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. This looks AWFUL, and I can't believe any self-respecting Batman fan (let alone the vocal millions) is on board for it. Now, I'm not traditionally one to take issue with creative license as it pertains to adaptations or interpretations, but this is already overstuffed with terrible ideas and plot points that fundamentally alter--nay, negate--key points of the entire Batman mythos. For one, I have no interest in seeing any of the Dark Knight's rogues gallery of villains before he's even put on the cowl. He doesn't exist because of them; THEY exist because of HIM. On a similar tip, one of the most important facets of the Caped Crusader's origins (and one that even Tim Burton got incredibly wrong in his original Batman film) is that the person who murders Thomas and Martha Wayne is just a common street thug who catches them in the wrong place at the wrong time. Here, we get a balaclava-adorned hitman-type, who clearly walks into Crime Alley with the express intent of offing the parents Wayne. Then to add insult to injury, we have young Detective Jim Gordon (Ben MacKenzie, who--despite all I'm saying--I think is perfectly cast) vowing to the newly orphaned Bruce that he'll find the man who killed his parents...and if he does, then why would Bruce ever feel the need to take to the streets and be the hero Gotham deserves?--Vengeance taken. Story over...and that's without even watching the trailer. (I mean, I have watched the trailer...but you get what I mean.) It seems that Batman as a concept has now taken on the kind of blind infallibility for my fellow nerds that zombies have; i.e. if it has Batman/zombies in it, it's automatically good and no one is allowed to say otherwise...even if the thing in question is terrible. (Looking at you, World War Z.) I think my feelings are clear.

MY VERDICT: NO. THANK YOU. (Full disclosure: I'll probably watch the pilot on Hulu out of my sense of nerdly duty and I'm willing to be surprised into liking this...but the outlook isn't good.) Now get off my back, everyone.

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TUESDAY

8-9pm - UTOPIA

9-9:30pm - New Girl

9:30-10pm - The Mindy Project

UTOPIA: I have to be honest. I pretty much went ahead and wrote this show off based entirely on the fact that it's a reality series...then I watched the trailer...and it gave me so many reasons that I was right to. As a concept, I can see the appeal; but knowing what sells in this genre (trashiness, inhuman behavior, drama for the sake of drama, etc.), I know it won't be as substantial or important as this trailer tries to suggest. Moreover, I'm a bit stunned to see a network make such a commitment (52 straight weeks, with a 24/7 online component) to a genre in which most of America has long ago lost interest. If this were on Discovery and weren't as sensationalized or self-important, I could see this working; but this is network television, where holding onto the more and more fleeting attention spans of the 18-34 demographic is key...and this probably won't do it.
MY VERDICT: In general, I just don't watch shows like this, so I'm already out. Not even the promise of attractive women in puffy coats is enough to catch my fancy.

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WEDNESDAY

8-9pm - Hell's Kitchen

9-10pm - RED BAND SOCIETY

[NOTE: For some reason, FOX hasn't released a trailer for Red Band Society; which is apparently NOT about a group of people who come together to watch uncensored movie trailers, but rather a group of teens who meet while in a hospital's pediatric care ward and then go out into the world and have...teen drama shenanigans. Oscar-winner Octavia Spencer stars as the nurse in charge. So, yeah. That's a show.]

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THURSDAY

8-9pm - Bones

9-10pm - GRACEPOINT

GRACEPOINT: I never got the chance to watch the British series (Broadchurch) that inspired this series. (Thanks, BBC America and your refusal to embrace online streaming.) I know many who have though and it sounds quite grim; which is not all that unexpected, coming from the mind of former Torchwood writer Chris Chibnall. I'm sure many of you are expecting me to have a fangirl fit over the presence of the Tenth Doctor himself David Tennant (reprising his role from the aforementioned Broadchurch), with his American accent (which has improved tremendously since his first attempt at a U.S. series, the ill-fated Rex is Not Your Laywer) that makes him sound like Griffin Dunne in the early '90s. While I'm always glad to see him, I can't in good conscience really SQUEE over something this serious. Obviously, this looks terrific and it seems to have brought its full emotional load over the Atlantic. It is a bit bizarre to see how sunny so much of this looks compared to the perpetual dreary grayness of the original ('MERICA!), but yeah.

MY VERDICT: This certainly sounds like a better way to spend my 9:00 hour on a Thursday than the two NBC comedies I discussed yesterday; and it's only ten episodes, so I don't really have to fear for its success/failure in the ratings either. What can I say?--I'm in.

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FRIDAY

8-9pm - Masterchef Junior

9-10pm - UTOPIA

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SATURDAY

7-10:30pm - Fox Sports Saturday

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SUNDAY

7-7:30pm - NFL Post-Show

7:30-8pm - Bob's Burgers

8-8:30pm - The Simpsons

8:30-9pm - Brooklyn Nine-Nine

9-9:30pm - Family Guy

9:30-10pm - MULANEY

MULANEY: As a big fan of John Mulaney's stand-up, I'm heartbroken at how--at best--blah and--at worst--terrible this looks. Mulaney as a concept has been floating in network limbo for about two years now. It was originally intended as a single-camera series on NBC, which was not picked up; and then stayed shelved for about 18 months before FOX scooped it up and made it a multi-cam/studio audience show. Now I can't decide whether I would have preferred the single-cam version or to have just never seen this at all. Now, this is not to say that there isn't potential here. As I say, Mulaney is a funny guy who has proven his mettle as a television writer for a number of seasons at Saturday Night Live (where he was most notably co-responsible for Bill Hader's Stefon character); so this could very easily just be a case of shitty trailer/shitty pilot, and let's face it--that's happened with a lot of great shows. I'm also bolstered by the fact that--by all accounts--there will be no laugh track, but rather the natural sound of the studio audience. Its timeslot worries me a bit, though. In press releases, FOX officials have repeatedly invoked the names of their three most successful live-action comedies (Married...with Children, That '70s Show, Malcolm in the Middle) as series that flourished on Sunday nights; but they seem to have forgotten that all of those shows eventually moved to different nights and either died miserably or found better success. Not to mention that over the last decade, Sunday nights have been the death of countless sitcoms (The Winner, The Pitts, Unhitched, etc.) and have only proven a good home for FOX's signature slate of primetime animated series. I guess what I'm trying to say is... 

MY VERDICT: ...I'll watch it with cautious optimism. If it's better than it looks, great. If it survives its timeslot, even better...but I'm worried that one or both may not come true.

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MIDSEASON 

BACKSTROM: I love Rainn Wilson. Obviously, his Dwight Schrute on The Office is an iconic character; but I'm even more a fan of his lesser-seen works like the insanely underappreciated 2008 film The Rocker and James Gunn's fantastic Super. (Big love should also go to his sadly to-date lone stint as host of SNL in 2007; an episode I refuse to delete from my DVR. It's THAT good.) When I heard talk of a mystery series starring Wilson as a curmudgeonly detective, I was in sight unseen. Having now seen this trailer...I have concerns. When the idea of Backstrom first came about, I expected something a bit darker, a bit more serious. Basically, I wanted House solving crimes. This seems more closely-hewn to a USA Network procedural like Monk or one of my favorites Psych, and I don't know how I feel about it. Not to mention the presence of go-to show killer Kristoffer Polaha, seen here as a forensics specialist. Between that and it being held for midseason (which is always a bit of a crapshoot), I can't decide if I'm willing to roll the dice here...and yet...
MY VERDICT: ...of course, I'm going to watch this. I may have understated it, so let me make it clear; Rainn Wilson is one of my favorite humans ON THE PLANET; and there is of course always a fascination with what happens when an actor follows up on their most iconic role. Fingers crossed, this turns out better than post-Seinfeld Michael Richards (and I'm not even talking about the incident at the Laugh Factory).

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EMPIRE: I would honestly watch Terrence Howard read the phone book. The man is one of the most underrated actors of the last 20 years, and it's about time he came back to television. I was a bit taken aback by how much I liked the look of this. A soapy family drama about the record industry sounds more suited to VH1, but this looks to be avoiding the more trashy aspects of such a concept...which could unfortunately spell its doom. Let's face it; the tastes of the American television viewer are really suspect right now. The 18-34-year-old demo is more interested in vodka-soaked catfights and flabbergasting soundbites from uneducated attention whores; and while this series will probably provide a few fictional spots of both, I don't know if that will be enough to sustain a network television drama. I'm bolstered a bit by the two names at the top of this project: Lee Daniels who has already given the world two critically-acclaimed works in Precious and The Butler, and Danny Strong (yep, Jonathan himself) whose screenplays for the latter of those films AND beloved HBO docudramas like Recount and Game Change have won veritable swaths of awards.

MY VERDICT: I look forward to seeing this, but have a bad feeling it may get the burned-off midseason treatment FOX's Gang Related is (probably rightfully) getting right now. If it's as good as it looks that it might be, I hope some cable outlets are ready to scoop it up.

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HIEROGLYPH: God, I love ancient Egypt. In this time of period piece fantasies like Game of Thrones and Starz's Spartacus series, it's high-time this--one of the most fascinating periods in human history--gets its due. Unfortunately, this show's got two very big things going against it; (1) it's a midseason series on a broadcast network (even worse, it's FOX) and (2) it comes to us from the writer of quite possibly the worst film I've ever seen (and to date, the only movie I've ever walked out of) Pacific Rim. When you've got a double-barreled shotgun blast of awful like that aimed at you, it's hard to muster much excitement or confidence. Really, at this point it's all about when FOX puts this on the air, and how well they promote it. After the surprising (and well-deserved) success of Sleepy Hollow though, this could have a chance. The supernatural sells like hot-cakes right now; and I don't know about you, but I want to know what's on that scroll.

MY VERDICT: I'm cautiously intrigued.

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WAYWARD PINES: The good news?--This series that's been on its way so long it actually made it into LAST YEAR'S upfronts looks awesome (despite M. Night Shyamalan's name being attached, which I'm a bit stunned they're actually using to promote it). The bad news?--After reports that it was scheduled to start airing this July, it's now been revealed we won't be seeing it until Winter 2015. I get the feeling it'll be worth the wait though (and hey!--It's Terrence Howard again!). This looks as fucked-up as everyone's overstated comparisons to David Lynch's Twin Peaks suggested it would be...and this pleases me. Not only that, this may be the best-appointed cast I've seen for the new season yet. Matt Dillon seems perfectly-grizzled. Carla Gugino, as ever, makes a great tragic beauty. The aforementioned Howard: SOLD. Crazy-ass Melissa Leo playing another crazy-ass character?--Of course. Juliette Lewis...hey, she's in this! (I kid. I actually like her quite a bit, but she seems like the one outlier.) Moreover, I'm liking the fact that an American network finally seems to be adopting the limited-series style that has served British television so well since...like, forever. In short, folks...

MY VERDICT: ...I can't wait. No matter what happens, we're getting ten episodes of batshit insanity, and I dig it. 2015 can't get here soon enough.

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THE LAST MAN ON EARTH: Whoa. If this never even makes it to air, this trailer should win a short film award somewhere at the very least. What a fantastic surprise this was! Originality is a dying thing, but I can safely say I've never seen anything like this. It's ballsy (especially for FOX; let alone any network), it's intriguing, it's funny and it's got Will Forte. I don't think this needs much more verbiage.

MY VERDICT: We have an official frontrunner for the most interesting new series on network television. Can't wait to see this, and I hope America and FOX have the patience to see where it goes.

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FINAL THOUGHTS:

There's a reason this is a day late, and it's called Gotham.

My dread for that show is so intense, I needed a 24-hour break after letting out so much well-deserved venom...and that's the last I'm going to talk about it; because (and even FOX doesn't seem to notice this) there are other new shows on this network.

In comedy, we have Mulaney and (fingers crossed, sooner rather than later) The Last Man on Earth. The former worries me deeply, while the latter has me fascinated in a way I haven't been since NBC's Awake trailer three years ago. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I really wish they would swap places right now. 

In drama, there's a lot happening...however--much as in comedy--the most interesting new series are being held for midseason. Nothing against Gracepoint which looks like it could pretty much do no wrong, but with shows like...well, every other drama I've just covered waiting in the wings, this has turned into a bit of a waiting game (and I'm not even talking about Wayward Pines, which is literally coming slower than TWO Christmases). Backstrom could be fun, Empire a nighttime soap in the tradition of Dallas, and Hieroglyph reminds me of the wacky genre shows that were a staple of this network throughout the '90s. (It's even got Sliders' John Rhys-Davies, for God's sake.) 

All in all, it looks like FOX is the frontrunner for the most intriguing new slate of series this year...

...but could another network dethrone it?!--Find out tomorrow, as I take on the latest additions to the primetime schedule over at ABC!

Until next time, here's Patton Oswalt to better explain my disdain for Gotham.

The Fall of Broadcast Television 2014: NBC

Gird your loins, America.

My name is Jeff Heatherly and whether you like it or not, I have returned.

So. What happened while I was gone? (Better question: Do you actually care?) I had a handful of nervous breakdowns. I found love. I read all the available Game of Thrones books. I had some medical issues. I turned 26 and 27. There was a gas shortage and A Flock of Seagulls. That's. About. It.

But enough about me. Let's talk about you.

I'm kidding. Let's talk about television. Because there was only one thing that could bring me out of my self-imposed entertainment blogging exile: the 2014 network upfronts.

Over the next few days I'll be bringing you the trailers, the synopses and my thoughts on all the new series you'll be able to find in the first 99 channels of your preferred television provider. Later this week, I'll be commenting on the offerings from FOX, ABC and the conjoined mutant known as CBS/The CW.

BUT FIRST(!), it's time for a look at America's #1 network!

Wait. That can't be right.

You're serious? How the bloody hell did they pull that off?

...

[sigh] Okay. Here's NBC!

(NOTE: As in my previous upfronts blogs, new series will be denoted by ALL CAPS, while schedule changes will be listed in italics.)

(YET ANOTHER NOTE: Due to an unforeseen lack of promotional materials for midseason shows, I will only cover what series have trailers as of this writing; a policy that I will employ for the remainder of this week's blogs.)

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MONDAY 

8-10pm - The Voice

10-11pm - The Blacklist/STATE OF AFFAIRS (beginning November 17)

STATE OF AFFAIRS: When I think of all the actors I could stand to never see again, Katherine Heigl is quite possibly at the top of that list. After suffering her presence in countless bland romantic comedies and having to endure her self-absorbed, hateful comments in the press and at public functions, she's pretty much persona non grata. This trailer...didn't change that in the least. Not only that, the age of the rah-rah-America political thriller is mercifully dead (at least to me); and frankly, this bland-looking offering would be low on my list even without the presence of one of my least favorite humans on the planet headlining. I sincerely wish I could provide you a more in-depth analysis, but sometimes one bad apple DOES spoil the whole bunch.
MY VERDICT: Ummm...yeah, no.

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TUESDAY

8-9pm - The Voice

9-9:30 - MARRY ME

9:30-10pm - About A Boy

10-11pm - Chicago Fire

MARRY ME: Hmm. So, here's the thing. I love Casey Wilson and Ken Marino. A lot...but this show doesn't seem to fit either of them. They're better suited to something more slapsticky and less sincere; and although they're clearly both talented enough to do both in small doses, I can't see them as the leads in such an affair. The other thing that's giving me pause here is NBC's really spotty record for Tuesday night comedy in the past eight years or so. Indeed, the night that was the successful home of shows like Scrubs and the first seasons of both The Office AND 30 Rock has since become a night for forgettable reality programming, seemingly immortal crime dramas...and pretty much nothing else. I understand that this network is attempting to do away with the "Must See TV/Comedy Night Done Right" business model this season (and after cancelling all but ONE of their Thursday night comedies, it makes vague sense); but this and the somehow-renewed About A Boy probably aren't the best foot to put forward. On a personal level, I could also stand to never see the idea of a character's arbitrary deadline for being married and/or engaged mined for comedy anymore. It's illogical and I speak from experience when I say that it's not a realistic scenario anymore...except for...you know, teen moms.
MY VERDICT: I could see myself watching at least the pilot on Hulu at some point; but as it stands, I think I'll just stick with New Girl.

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WEDNESDAY

8-9pm - THE MYSTERIES OF LAURA

9-10pm - Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

10-11pm - Chicago P.D.

THE MYSTERIES OF LAURA: Well, that was certainly a rollercoaster. Before I even clicked play, the sight of Debra Messing (who I've always found off-putting) had me groaning...but then she shot a guy and I was like "I'm listening, show"...then it kind of lost me again at the cutesy finger paint crime scene gag...and then it had me again because I liked that it was giving me a working mother who was neither an impossibly perfect Stepford mom, nor an unrealistically troubled "you missed your kids' 23rd soccer game" stereotype...then it lost me at the hokey police procedural patter...then it had me again at Enrico "Keith Mars" Colantoni(!)...then it REALLY kind of lost me at the Tom Jones (I love the man, but really with this song?)...then it kind of had me again at the lighthearted investigation montage...then it lost me again when I realized I was literally seeing a truncated version of the show's pilot (a mistake networks--particularly NBC--desperately need to stop making with their trailers)...then it had me again with the twist of who the killer was...then it lost me when I realized that a certain cast member was just a one-off...and then it left me teetering with that dated Lady Gaga bit. [sigh] That really tuckered me out.

MY VERDICT: Overall, I found myself surprisingly charmed by that. A working mom homicide detective is not something I've seen done...maybe ever in my lifetime; and on a network whose other police dramas are--to borrow a phrase from the great Leonard Maltin--"doomsday dark", I like this show's visible sense of humor. Unless something changes over at the CW, I'll probably still be giving Arrow my live attention on Wednesdays at 8; but I could totally see this being a nice diversion for a Thursday afternoon on Hulu. Color me intrigued.

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THURSDAY

8-9pm - The Biggest Loser

9-9:30pm - BAD JUDGE

9:30-10pm - A TO Z

10-11pm - Parenthood

BAD JUDGE: Can we put a moratorium on "bad" titles? Bad Santa. Bad Teacher. Bad Judge. We get it. These people are irresponsible and raunchy and you wouldn't expect them to be doing the job they have. Hilarious. [sigh] That being said, this doesn't look terrible. It doesn't really look good either, but it certainly exceeded my low expectations. I like Kate Walsh quite a bit, and I've never seen a single episode of either Gray's Anatomy or Private Practice. I came to appreciate her during her lengthy recurring role as Drew's on again/off again girlfriend/wife Nikki on The Drew Carey Show, where she routinely proved as strong a comedic presence as anyone else in that underrated cast. As such, I would readily put my faith in her to carry a series with a few laughs. My only real concern here is...well, as with any show I'm reviewing in this entry, it's on NBC. Moreover, while this is fairly charming, I don't see this being the kind of premise the key 18-34 demo will turn out in droves for every week. Nice to see Whitney alum Tone Bell (seen here as the bailiff) working again though. Maybe his third series with this network will be the charm, but for now...

MY VERDICT: ...I can't see this lasting long. NBC needs to be investing in big comedic performances and broad, colorful characters and this just isn't it. I'll probably watch the pilot, though.

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A TO Z:  So, basically it's Marry Me with two more straight-laced actors?--Okay, NBC; I can certainly see why this got Thursday instead of Tuesday. I know I've used this word a lot so far, but...charming. It's pretty ballsy though; to give America another show about a couple's journey into being, narrated by a beloved sitcom star of the '80s/'90s (KATEY SAGAL!), starring the figure of that other show's whole existence (Christin "The Mother" Milioti)...particularly when that show's fanbase seems to still be pretty on edge after the way things turned out. (I never watched HIMYM, and the vast majority of people I knew who watched it were obnoxious, so I revel in their rage. Sorry.) As a neutral party, I can see this show's appeal. Ben Feldman (fresh off of being written off of Mad Men in a most gruesome fashion) is a delightful fellow and I'm excited to see him as the lead in something, but I wish he were being given stronger material. Admittedly, this show comes from a pretty trustworthy name in adorable television (Rashida "Ann Perkins" Jones) and that could carry it far...but again, I worry that the post-HIMYM backlash may still hurt this series in the long run.

MY VERDICT: Now having seen all three of NBC's new fall comedic offerings, I'm really surprised they veered sincere over slapstick; but perhaps such a change of pace along with their newfound seat at the top of network television (again, how did that happen?) could work some magic. Another pilot I'm likely to watch.

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FRIDAY

8-9pm - Dateline NBC

9-10pm - Grimm

10-11pm - CONSTANTINE

CONSTANTINE: Allow me to be the first pundit on the internet to not begin discussing this series with a snide remark about the prior adaptation of DC Comics/Vertigo's Hellblazer. I do this for three reasons: (1) because I've never read the source material, (2) because I didn't see the movie and (3) because I prefer to judge such things on their own merits...and how do I judge this?--Intriguing. Vertigo has long been the home of DC's darker, more mature and artistically-driven works (Watchmen, V for Vendetta, etc.) and I'm always up for the chance to sample their wares. I like the look of this show a lot. It has a dreary grittiness usually reserved for premium cable offerings and it pleases me to see that NBC didn't try to demand something more colorful out of this (pun on its schedule predecessor not intended) grim concept. The man himself Matt Ryan seems like a good fit for a world-weary, dry-humored antihero and other than her laughably blunt delivery on "When did my dad die?", Lucy Griffiths made me swoon many a time during her stint on True Blood and I know she's capable of good things, so in short...

MY VERDICT: ...I dig this. I'm not exactly blown away, but this looks like it has the makings of a really fun ride. Its timeslot is a bit worrisome, but Grimm has pretty much revolutionized the idea of a successful Friday night network television series and Constantine could be the perfect companion piece. I look forward to seeing this.

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FINAL THOUGHTS:

Seriously, am I the only one blown away that NBC's on top again?

Who knew all it would take was one popular drama (The Blacklist), a beloved reality competition (The Voice) and finally ridding late night television of Jay Leno's brand of "humor"?--Okay, I think we all knew that last thing would do wonders...but enough about where NBC is right now. Let's talk about where they're going.

On the comedy front, we're seeing a combination of bold scheduling tactics with a surprisingly light-hearted touch in terms of content. Is America ready for pleasantness over outrage?--We shall see. Of the three new offerings, A to Z seems to have the narrow edge. It's well-cast and while romance is hardly a new tack for the network sitcom, its sincerity on the subject is very refreshing. Marry Me might draw the alternative comedy crowd ever so briefly for its leads, but the fact that it looks like a TV show characters in a TV show would be watching probably doesn't bode well. As for Bad Judge, I get the sense that it'll be the show on the chopping block when Parks and Recreation mercifully returns for its (sadly) final season in January.

Drama-wise, it's pretty clear what I'm pulling for. Constantine is right up my comic book-loving alley and given the great success of Arrow, I trust the folks at DC Entertainment to take my attention and run like hell. (Pun only semi-intended.) The Mysteries of Laura has the potential to be a light, fun procedural in the tradition of Murder, She Wrote and The Rockford Files, but its positioning as the veritable amuse-bouche before the grittiness of Law & Order: SVU and Chicago P.D. is a tad perplexing; and again, that's a big NO to State of Affairs. May it leave quickly and never darken our doorway again.

...and that about wraps it up for the Peacock in 2014. 

It feels good to be sharing the world's entertainments with you again, dear reader. Thank you for stopping by and I hope you'll join me for the rest of this week and beyond...

...starting with my look at the new offerings over at FOX, sometime tomorrow.

Until then, #IBelieveInBenAffleck.

Pilot Inspektor - EARLY REVIEW: "Go On"

What's up, all you stars and studs?  (I love her, but she's been trying to make that a thing for, like, five years now...and it's as much a thing as "fetch".)

Welcome back to "Entertainment on Jeff's Terms"...and as ever, I must begin with a brief explanation (to arguably NO ONE) as to why (A) you haven't seen me in about three months and (B) you will never see a look at the slate of fall shows on CBS and The CW.

Long story short (right on time), there are two reasons.

ONE: Fact is, CBS only has four (FOUR!) new shows this season.  That's how ridiculously successful they are; and if you go look at their website and you can't automatically figure out the sole show that I'm excited about, you clearly don't know me.  Plus, all that remained was The CW. 'Nuff said.

TWO: Right around the time that post was to go up, I had a death in my family.  It wasn't someone of great consequence to my life, but as days wore on, it became clear I was more affected by it than I ever thought possible.

...and in a spot of poetry only network television can provide, grief plays a big part in this, the first edition of "Pilot Inspektor" for the 2012-2013 season.

Indeed, it's an EARLY REVIEW(!)--courtesy of the fine folks at Hulu--of NBC's upcoming Tuesday night "comedy" (and the quotes will soon be explained, with the results likely to surprise you), Go On.

Is the third time truly the charm for some Matthew Perry post-Friends success?--Let's find out.

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THE GIST OF IT

Sports radio host Ryan King (Perry) swaggers into his station with a confident smile on his face.  It's the first time he's been back since the death of his wife a month prior.  He is promptly met with a bewildered stare from the host who's filled in for him during his leave, and a stern beckon from his boss Steven (John Cho).  Steven doesn't think Ryan is ready to be back in front of a microphone, and as such, orders Ryan to take ten sessions of group grief counseling before he can come back to work.

Begrudgingly, Ryan heads for the local learning annex, where--after mistakenly sitting in with a medieval LARP group briefly--he meets his groupmates which include: Anne (Julie White), a grieving lesbian widow; Owen (Tyler James Williams, who has grown up A LOT), a quiet teen whose reasons for attending are still (as of the pilot) a mystery; "Mr. K" (beloved alt-comedian Brett Gelman), a hilariously unnerving be-sweatered bearded man (so, in other words, Brett Gelman) whose reasons for attending are ALSO a mystery...although some imagery late in the episode suggests why (and why he may oddly be the most poignant character on the show); and George (the great Bill Cobbs a.k.a. the poor man's Morgan Freeman), an elderly black man with a number of issues, most notably that he is blind.

Within minutes, Ryan has taken over the group and has his groupmates competing in a bracket tournament--dubbed "March Sadness" by Owen--to determine whose reasons for attending are the saddest.  After the winner has been declared and the group is sharing a celebratory dance, their true leader Lauren (Laura Benanti, most recently of last year's The Playboy Club) arrives and brings things to order, much to Ryan's chagrin.

In the next session, the group members are split into pairs and are assigned to come up with three words that their griefs(?) share.  Ryan is paired with Owen, who--after showing Ryan some funny photos from Google Street View (I know this sounds like product placement, and probably partially is, but where it leads totally justifies it)--eventually opens up about his comatose younger brother.  When the group comes back together, Ryan makes it very clear how little he takes these sessions seriously, infuriating Lauren who is cajoled into signing Ryan's release form just to get rid of him.

Ryan returns to work, where he puts on a great show with his guest Terrell Owens (as himself).  At quitting time, Ryan's assistant presents him with a basket of all the sympathy items he's been sent in the past month and he heads out to the parking lot, where he spots Owens texting and driving.  Ryan angrily hurls some fruit from his basket at T.O.'s Escalade, which almost leads to fisticuffs.

The next day, Ryan returns to the grief group and finally opens up.  His wife was killed in a car accident after running a stop sign because she was texting him.  Moments later, he spots the Google Street View camera car driving past the building and invites the group to chase after it, being photographed for all the world to see.

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MOVING FORWARD

As was the case last year, I don't really know what to do with this section for a comedy; even one with such dramatic elements.

I will assume, as episodes go on (pun not intended), we'll officially learn Mr. K's reasons for joining the group, and there will be many more wacky exercises and special guest stars from the world of sports.  Plus, I'm sure the seeds will be planted for the inevitable Ryan/Lauren romance, so...yeah. 

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IN ESSENCE, MY FRIENDS...

...I liked this a lot more than I was even prepared for.  However, the fact that NBC is promoting it as a straight comedy (and that, you know, it's on NBC) is going to hurt it, I guarantee.

Fact is, it's not a straight comedy.  In fact, I would argue it's BARELY a comedy...which I actually mean as a compliment.  What Go On really is (as you would guess from the subject matter) is a heartfelt human drama with elements of comedy tossed in; so once again, the way it's being promoted is going to  hurt it.

That being said, it's got a lot of things going for it.

While I stand by my statement that Matthew Perry--while charming as ever--is trying a bit too hard, his presence is, as always, very welcome.  This show is going to need a likable, sympathetic character actor at the helm and it's hard to do better than Perry.

Meanwhile (if I may be a bit heterosexual for a moment), GOOD LORD, is Laura Benanti ever gorgeous.  Having to play a tight, hateful madam of sorts on The Playboy Club did her no favors both physically and, indeed, performance-wise; because in addition to being unable to take my eyes off of her anytime she was on screen, the lady is a talent.  I honestly believe her in her role as the group leader more than I do any of the rest of the cast (including Perry) as the group members.  She's authoritative but kind, and in just the few scenes we get with her for these opening 22 minutes, she steals the show.  

As for the rest of the cast, while I think a majority of the group members were reduced to exaggerated mugging, Williams and White are heads above the rest.  I've never seen a single episode of Everybody Hates Chris, so I'm no authority on the boy who would be Rock (please stop me when I start talking in stupid entertainment magazine-isms...oops, too late), but I am impressed and look forward to getting to know Owen more.  The same can be said for White, semi-sadly probably best known now for thanklessly (and often, hilariously) playing Shia LeBeouf's mother in the Transformers trilogy.  I, however, grew up watching her as the best friend on the '90s sitcom Grace Under Fire.  There and, indeed, here on Go On, she never betrays the humanity of her characters.  On Grace, she reminded me of strong but kooky women in my own life (particularly, my aunts on my mother's side).  Here, she's an unconventional single mother lost...and I believe her.  (Did I just contradict all that hyperbole about Laura Benanti up there?--Yes.  Am I going to edit it?--No.)

What could work against the show (other than the fact that it's on NBC, which can't be stressed enough) is that, frankly, it's not the kind of subject people are going to flock to in droves, particularly for laughs.  While writing this review, I learned the pilot actually aired four days ago during a break from NBC's Olympics coverage; and as such, garnered an impressive 16 million viewers...but I just can't believe even half of those people will be back on (ironically) September 11 at 9pm.

In truth, this was--and remains--NBC's most promising new comedy (implied air-quotes) of the season. Whether that'll be enough to keep it alive AND possibly help the Peacock network build a Tuesday night comedy block...I just don't know.  At the very least, I'll be there.

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THESE ARE BLURBS

Further, more errant thoughts on Go On...

• I'm kind of stunned a professional athlete, particularly one as publicly known as Terrell Owens would allow himself to be portrayed as such a violent, ill-tempered stereotype.
• I'll be interested to see what group members make it past the pilot stage.  Honestly, if Tyler James Williams isn't back, this show is going to lose A LOT of its heart.
• POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT: So here's what I'm thinking with Brett Gelman. Clearly, it has something to do with a lost child.  This could mean that he's sterile, he lost his wife, his wife miscarried, both his wife and child died during delivery...whatever it ends up being, I totally see his story being the darkest and most serious this show has to offer...and I'm intrigued to see how Gelman handles it.
• Seriously, Laura Benanti...SWOON.
• Anyone else kind of disappointed this didn't play at ANY POINT during the pilot or that it's not the theme song?--I can't be the only one.
• GO ON OFFICIALLY PREMIERES TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 11 AT 9pm EST ON NBC!

******************

...and all of a sudden, I'm back.

Hopefully, I'll be able to bring the same level of spontaneity to my next entry.  Truth be told, the biggest albatross around this blog's neck is my inability to just write for myself and hope others groove on it.  I put this undue pressure on myself, with nonexistent deadlines and some phantom authority figure frowning at me.  I have issues.  I get it.

Regardless, I hope to be back here in September when the fall season REALLY kicks off.

Until then, good day and zerbert.

The Fall of Broadcast Television 2012: ABC

Hello.  Is there anybody in there?  Just nod if you can hear me.  Is there anyone home...

...to welcome back to "Entertainment on Jeff's Terms"?  (That was ELABORATE.)

My coverage of the 2012 Network Upfronts is now moving at a much brisker pace.  NBC brought me so low, only for FOX--much like your love--to keep on lifting me higher. (HIGHER AND HIGHER!)

(Why am I feeling so musical today?)

In this installment, I cross my fingers that the folks at the Walt Disney corporation will be able to keep my spirits elevated as I look at the new batch of programs (pronounced PRO-GRUMS, because I feel like it) from ABC.

AS ALWAYS...new shows are denoted by ALL CAPS, and schedule changes by italics.

******************

MONDAY

(Fall)
8-10pm - Dancing with the Stars

10-11pm - Castle

(Spring)

8-10pm - The Bachelor

10-11pm - Castle

******************

TUESDAY

(Fall)

8-9pm - Dancing with the Stars Results Show

9-9:30pm - Happy Endings

9:30-10pm - Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23

10-11pm - Private Practice

(Spring)

8-8:30pm - HOW TO LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS (FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE)

8:30-9pm - THE FAMILY TOOLS

9-9:30pm - Happy Endings

9:30-10pm - Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23

10-11pm - Private Practice

HOW TO LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS (FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE): Okay. First off, ABC...COOL IT WITH THE UNWIELDY TITLES!  Second...there is too much good involved in this for this to look as unwatchable as it does.  While I enjoy Brad Garrett (and who in their right mind doesn't?) and Elizabeth Perkins, and their general cantankerousness and inappropriateness is humorous at its very root...I just know it's going to get old REALLY fast.  Also, while Sarah Chalke is never not MADE of charming, I can't find humor in the "unpaid labor" joke; it's the same reason why I didn't like NBC's Up All Night last season.  (There's nothing funny about irresponsible parenting.  I live in a town full of it, and I just can't laugh at it anymore.)  True, that was just one joke, but I just can't shake the feeling of overall midseason blandness coming out of this trailer's every pore.  As such...
MY VERDICT: ...in the words of the great Leonard Maltin, I'm giving this my NOT vote.  It pains me to do so, too.  Like I said, this show has potential to spare on casting ALONE.  (One also notes the presence of the great Canadian actor and comedian Jon Dore.  He's the beardy fellow we see brief flashes of.)  Too bad it seems like the one-note humor drains all that potential away with depressing ease.  Shame.  

------------------

THE FAMILY TOOLS: "WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?!" wails this show's star Kyle Bornheimer.  I know they're talking about his nail gun injury, but to a number of us, we're hearing the plaintive cries of a perennial star of cancelled network sitcoms.  CBS' Worst Week in 2008. A guest spot on ABC's Better Off Ted in 2009 followed by a starring role in their Romantically Challenged in 2010.  NBC's Perfect Couples in 2011, and just weeks ago, their quickly-burned-off Bent.  ...and the sad truth is, I see the same fate in this show.  This looks just plain forgettable.  In addition to the distressing track record of Mr. Bornheimer, ABC seems to be developing a pattern of having seasons of (mostly) great comedic breakouts, followed by seasons of bland, unfunny filler.  This year is quickly looking to be the latter.  There is nothing about this show that is going to bring people to their television screens, because we've seen the same basic premise (screwup kid comes home, squares off with tough parent, both come to understanding, alleged shenanigans ensue) come and go countless times in the last decade or so, and bringing in pros like J.K. Simmons, Adam Arkin and Leah Remini is just window dressing.  No point in belaboring it...
MY VERDICT: ...Sorry, Kyle.  This one's a bust, too.

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WEDNESDAY

8-8:30 - The Middle

8:30-9pm - Suburgatory

9-9:30 - Modern Family

9:30-10pm - THE NEIGHBORS

10-11pm - NASHVILLE

THE NEIGHBORS: ... ... ...Did that really just happen?  JESUS TAP-DANCING JONES.  Do I even have to explain myself?  I just...no...let's move on as quickly as we can, so...
MY VERDICT: ...NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO. NO.  (We have an early frontrunner for this year's Work It, kids.)

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NASHVILLE: I am officially VERY conflicted.  I'm going to try to explain why as best as I can.  There's one part of me that is going to watch this show.  (I'm going to watch this.)  That's just the way it is.  I try not to let my heterosexuality guide my pop cultural choices...but I've been a sucker for Hayden Panettiere since we were both children.  Additionally, I've developed a pronounced swoon for Connie Britton since the later days of Spin City.  (I'm going to watch this.)  Then...there's that other part of me...that just wants to yell and rant and kvetch about how this just looks like a TV series version of Country Strong sans the drug storyline and the unappealingness of Gwyneth Paltrow when she's not playing Pepper Potts.  (I'm going to watch this.)  Then...there's YET ANOTHER part of me that squeed as only I can at the sight of Whose Line Is It Anyway? alum Chip Esten in a dramatic role(!) as Connie Britton's bandmate/Hayden's seductee.  (Whose Line? is, without question, my favorite series of all-time.)  Then...(I'm going to watch this.)...there's a FURTHER part of me that fucking DESPISES country music (mainly from the late '90s on; I grew up on early '90s country and I refuse to feel shame about that) and has ZERO interest in watching a show in which I'm supposed to take it seriously as its MacGuffin.  So, to recap...
MY VERDICT: ...SO conflicted.  (I'm going to watch this.)  So much about this show is...I guess beneath me is the best phrase for it.  (I'm going to watch this.)  ...and like I said, I don't want to let the fact that the two stars make me swoon be the key reason that I watch it.  (I'm going to watch this.)  I'm so ashamed.  (I'm going to watch this.)  I really shouldn't watch this.  (I'm going to watch this.)  Maybe I'll be strong enough to resist it, come the fall.  (I'm going to watch this.) ...MAYBE.

******************

THURSDAY

8-9pm - LAST RESORT

9-10pm - Gray's Anatomy

10-11pm - Scandal

LAST RESORT: OH, MY GOD.  I'm not even going to bother waiting for my verdict to tell you: I'M WATCHING THE HELL OUT OF THIS.  I'll admit.  As soon as they started dancing, I was already formulating various snarky retorts...and then...THE REST OF THE TRAILER HAPPENED.  I was a faithful viewer of 24 for its first five seasons...and then I realized I was watching bullshit conservative propaganda and bailed out.  I'm not saying this is propaganda...but if it is, at least it's propaganda I can agree with.  (A LIBERAL-MINDED MILITARY SHOW?  WHY IS THIS ONLY NOW HAPPENING?)  Also, to answer everyone's question; yes, that IS the Lost island.  Now, I do have some concerns.  CBS owns Thursday nights from 8 to 9.  NBC sublets it, if you will.  ABC learned this the hard way by putting their execrable Charlie's Angels remake in this slot...and I fear that this time, it won't be a lack of quality that puts the kibosh down.  I want this to succeed; in fact, if I may be formal about it now...
MY VERDICT: ...I NEED this to succeed.  Let's face it.  Nothing's ever going to beat The Big Bang Theory (and starting this season, Two and a Half Men at 8:30)...but after January, 30 Rock will be gone and I don't give the slightest damn about Up All Night.  Someone else needs to challenge CBS...and I want it to be THIS.  So, there.

******************

FRIDAY

8-8:30pm - Last Man Standing

8:30-9pm - MALIBU COUNTRY

9-10pm - Shark Tank

10-11pm - 20/20

MALIBU COUNTRY: So, confession time.  Despite having never (intentionally) seen a single episode, I have a weird affection for Reba.  Part of it is my nostalgic adoration for pretty much everything that was on The WB before they closed their proverbial doors in 2006.  The other part...is Reba herself.  As I mentioned in the Nashville blurb above, I was raised on country music and culture in the early '90s.  Something I have always appreciated about the Queen of Country (as she is often touted) is the fact that despite her genre, she never fell into any of the ugly conservatism of many of her contemporaries.  In music, she gave us (and continues to give us) memorable feel-good tracks that often tell the same kinds of stories that have defined the Country genre forever...without putting any boots in any asses because it's allegedly "the American way".  (CHRIST, I hate Toby Keith...as should anyone of even the remotest intelligence.)  In acting, she kept a meager but AWESOME resumé with turns in the classic Tremors and one of my childhood favorites, The Little Rascals.  Reba transcended genre, medium and region and became one of the most recognizable faces in entertainment.  I'm frankly glad to have her back on television.  Is this show almost EXACTLY the same as her previous sitcom?--Absolutely; but...
MY VERDICT: ...I'm in for a number of reasons.  For one, there's a lot of talk that the moving of Last Man Standing to Friday nights to join this show is ABC testing the waters for the possible return of everyone's favorite '80s and '90s television staple: TGIF.  For another, I don't care if her dialogue consists of nothing but Southern clichés and cantankerous grumbles, I trust the great Lily Tomlin to entertain me as she has my whole life.  Also, Sara Rue = SWOON.  This show feels like comfort food; nay, (at the risk of getting too lyrical) it feels like home.

******************

SATURDAY

8-11:30pm - Saturday Night College Football

******************

SUNDAY

7-8pm - America's Funniest Home Videos

8-9pm - Once Upon a Time

9-10pm - Revenge

10-11pm - 666 PARK AVENUE

666 PARK AVENUE: ...or as I like to call it, JOHN LOCKE IS THE FREAKING DEVIL.  Screw my verdict.  I've been sold on this show from the moment I heard about it.  Of all the great things to come out of the existence of Lost, there have been few better than America's true discovery of the greatness that is Terry O'Quinn.  He'd always been a capable actor, but his role as--arguably--The Island's most fascinating castaway was a gift from the entertainment gods...and netted him a fair number of accolades, as well.  Now, admittedly, some of the literature regarding this show has been a bit confusing.  In some synopses, it's described as a straight-up supernatural nighttime soap; like a sophisticated Supernatural, if you will.  In others, it's described as an anthology series, in which we watch as new occupants shuffle in and out of The Drake each week, each having a new spooky encounter with our follicle-challenged star.  Either way...
MY VERDICT: ...umm...yeah.  I'M IN.  ABC made a fantastic decision when they opted against renewing the execrable GCB and continuing the tradition of Sunday nights full of poorly-written, conniving excuses for alleged "strong female characters".  (I know strong women, and none of them have ever resembled characters on GCB or the now-concluded Desperate Housewives.)  Instead, now it's a night of ACTUAL strong women (Sheriff Emma Swan, Emily Thorne, etc.) and delicious nighttime intrigue.  I love when I can tune into a network and just LEAVE IT.  Thanks, ABC.  You've got me every Sunday.

******************

MIDSEASON (Timeslots TBD)

MISTRESSES: Oops.  I do believe I spoke too soon.  Wow, not only did we take a MASSIVE step back in terms of positive characterization, we also watched a Lost cast member NOT build on the goodwill left over from that show.  All I ask is that IF this show makes it to well-promoted air, KEEP IT OFF SUNDAY NIGHTS, ABC.  You just cleaned out the trash.  Don't put it right back.
MY VERDICT: Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Lana Kane.

-------------------

RED WIDOW: I say this with as little snark as I can: why would anyone watch this?  I'm not saying it looks bad (it really doesn't), but what about this story with this cast of relatively no-name actors (save for Anson Mount of AMC's Hell on Wheels, basically cameoing as the murdered husband here) does ABC think is going to make anyone make a point of tuning in?  Better yet, in what universe does telling us that an allegedly serious drama is written by the screenwriters of the Twilight films make anything attractive?--Even Twilight fans would probably be turned off by the disconnect.  The truth of the matter is, this is just a REALLY poorly-conceived trailer.  Reading the official press release tells a much better story about this show's appeal.  (Yes, our heroine--played by Silent Hill's Radha Mitchell--will seek revenge against the Russian mobsters who killed her husband in probably deliciously violent ways.)  However, let's face it.  This trailer is going to be how most people get wind that this show exists...and when that's all they're given...they and, indeed, I will conclude...
MY VERDICT: ...I'm just...really not motivated to watch this.  Where some networks have given us practically ENTIRE pilots in their trailers, this tells us nothing further than the fact that Anson Mount's character will be killed and Radha Mitchell will be sad about that.  If there were the slightest suggestion that our titular Red Widow were going to take that sadness and turn it into a bloody cavalcade of vengeful rage...maybe I'd be in...but as it stands, that's not the show they sold us, and so, the answer is nyet.  (See what I did there?--Because they're Russian...yeah, never mind.)

******************

ZERO HOUR: So, before I can even begin to evaluate, obviously I need to explain the absence of an embedded trailer.  This is a weird one.  Over the past two days, I've been watching the trailers, one by one.  In the related videos of many of the previews you've just seen was the trailer for Zero Hour.  As of this morning, ABC has not removed the trailer exactly; but rather, they've made it PRIVATE.  (WHAT?!)  Fortunately, someone on YouTube still has a public copy floating around, BUT(!) it's not embeddable, so I invite you to click this link and--unless they've taken it down by the time you read this--watch the trailer for (this is where the blurb really begins) the second-most intriguing new drama series on ABC.  Now, I've never read Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code or Angels and Demons, nor have I seen either of the Ron Howard film adaptations.  Frankly, by the time I was made aware of those books, I had been made a little TOO aware.  I've never been one to do something just because I'm told to, and this rings true in entertainment just as it does in life.  However, at root,  I do enjoy a good archaeological conspiracy.  (We all do, obviously.  The Indiana Jones franchise certainly shows that.)  So already, I'm intrigued.  Also intriguing: since when is Anthony Edwards so damned charming?  I remember--in my limited experience of ER--always finding him an infinitely boring performer.  (Before anyone asks, I've never seen Revenge of the Nerds and I haven't seen Top Gun since I was roughly...three years old.)  Here, I'm immediately ready to go on this crazy adventure with him.  Sure, some of the dialogue is stilted, and telling us a serious drama comes from the people who brought us the  Transformers and G.I. Joe movies (which I do have an affection for, but still) doesn't exactly inspire confidence...but if you aren't in by the time the baby opens its eyes...or THAT LAST SHOT...I don't know what to tell you...other than...

MY VERDICT: ...take me on a quest, Goose...and seriously, ABC...why so stingy with the trailer all of a sudden?  You do realize by taking it away, you're only making me want it more...or was that your plan all along?--Pretty sneaky, ABC.

******************

FINAL THOUGHTS:

(Seriously, if that trailer disappears, someone let me know and I'll find another copy ASAP.)

So, after the largest selection of new show trailers yet, how are we feeling about ABC?--Let's talk genre.

COMEDY!  It's a pretty sad state of affairs when the most promising laffer on your slate is basically a rehash of a previous series starring a Country music singer...but that is, indeed, the case.  After a solid run of respectable hits and successes, ABC took a steep nosedive this year.  Unless they've got something AMAZING planned for 2013-2014, I can't imagine that they aren't aware of the pure FILLER they've just given us.  Cling tightly to the comedies you already love, everybody (and that includes Cougar Town, which escapes to TBS this season).  They're the only thing actually funny in all this.

DRAMA!  Here's where ABC fared MUCH better.  If we can ignore the utter tripe that is Mistresses and the forgettableness of Red Widow, this network has given us a slate full of ways to build on the goodwill they accrued last year with Revenge and Once Upon a Time.  Last Resort looks gripping as all-get-out-of-international-waters-and-seek-refuge-on-the-Lost-island.  Nashville...I'm still VERY conflicted.  (I'm going to watch that show.)  666 Park Avenue...Devil Locke; alls I'm sayin'.  ...and of course, the mysterious conundrum that is Zero Hour.  The point is, if you've got an hour to spare this season, ABC's got some very promising ways to fill it.

...and so goes ABC.  It may be the most mixed bag we've seen so far, but it was a hell of a ride and should prove even more so once those premiere dates start rolling in.

I'll return soon with my look at CBS and its ginger-haired stepsister The CW.

Until then, another reason to appreciate Reba (or rather, "Reba").

DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO!

The Fall of Broadcast Television 2012: FOX

Welcome back to "Entertainment on Jeff's Terms", folks.

Well, I think I've sufficiently recovered from the horrors of NBC's new fall line-up and with that out of the way, the rest of my 2012 Network Coverage should go much faster and smoother. (Kind of like...[insert your own punchline].)

Today, I move on to the 2012-2013 offerings from the one-time target of countless meta jokes on The Simpsons to presently America's #3 (or #2, on occasion; not a poop joke, unless you want it to be) network, FOX.

As always, new series are denoted by ALL CAPS, and schedule changes for returning series are indicated with italics. Let's dance, Murdoch.

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MONDAY

8-9pm - Bones

9-10pm - THE MOB DOCTOR

THE MOB DOCTOR:  Already, I'm feeling better about FOX than I did about NBC.  (You'd pretty much have to.)  However, the thing is...I've never really had any interest in medical dramas.  This is no slight to this show which looks competent and compelling, but I just never got into them.  I backhandedly watched the first few seasons of ER with my mother back in the day, but eventually, I found my own things to do on a Thursday night at 10, and it didn't matter anymore.  (That being said, the second season episode entitled "Hell or High Water" remains one of the finest hours of television drama I've ever seen.)  So, for the purposes of thoroughness and in the interest of those of you who are intrigued, let me say that I like the cast.  Jordana Spiro.  You can't see it, but I'm swooning.  William Forsythe has proven time and time again that he's one of our finest television character actors (and, not to be a spoiler but, if he isn't Spiro's character's father, I'll eat my hat).  I'm always glad to see Michael Rappaport (uncredited here) in dramatic roles.  He's a great comedian and comedic actor, but his thick accent and urban aura lend SO WELL to playing gruff characters and, as we see here, inscrutable heavies.  I like the premise, as well.  While I'm sure it'll be more of a medical procedural than this trailer lets on, the fact that the dangers of our heroine's ties to the Chicago mob are always waiting in the wings will surely provide some great tension.  In short...
MY VERDICT: ...it's not necessarily for me, but I think people will enjoy it, and for good reason.  I won't deny that its timeslot is a bit concerning.  (CBS owns Monday nights from 9-10.  Sad fact, but a fact nonetheless.)  However, with the right promotion--and FOX has probably the best marketing department of the five networks--this could be a sleeper hit.  Good luck, PJ.

******************

TUESDAY

8-8:30pm - Raising Hope

8:30-9pm - BEN AND KATE

9-9:30pm - New Girl

9:30-10pm - THE MINDY PROJECT

BEN AND KATE: So...yeah...remember that thing I said up there about FOX having quite possibly the best marketing department of the big five networks?--I may need to take that back, because they just showed us THE ENTIRE PILOT of Ben and Kate.  That being said...that was RIDICULOUSLY charming.  Going on the vague inklings of the premise I'd heard about in weeks prior, I pretty handily dismissed this show as something wildly generic and easily cancelable.  Now, I kind of can't wait to see what wacky shenanigans these characters get into next.  I'm a sucker for a story about families sticking together, and this is no exception.  Also, glad to finally put a face (that being the face of a person I'd spent the past few years referring to as "the poor man's Owen Wilson") to the name Nat Faxon (Ben); fresh off his Academy Award for co-writing The Descendants.  Toss in some genuine laughs throughout and Lucy Punch (who I've been actively swooning over for about a year now) as Kate's British bartender friend (the three straws almost slayed me), and I'm...oop, hold on.
MY VERDICT: I'm SO in.  FOX is really stepping up the plate with great comedies lately, and this seems to follow that trend.  Thus far, I have nothing pressing to watch on Tuesday nights at 8:30, so this should be a great lead-in to--one of my favorites--New Girl.

------------------

THE MINDY PROJECT: Gee...can you tell The Office is about to end?  (Done with the snark.)  Allow me to double down on my noting FOX's slate of great new comedies.  We all already know Mindy Kaling writes some funny, funny television...now we know she can carry a show, as well.  I'm officially in love with FOX's Tuesday night line-up (the overrated Raising Hope notwithstanding).  Not only are they giving us 3 great comedies in a row, but they're all led by strong female characters.  That none of the other networks are even coming close to this is archaic and honestly, kind of offensive.  ...I really have nothing further to say.  The show speaks for itself.  As for me...
MY VERDICT:  ...again...SO in.  I love television (obviously).  However, I REALLY love television when it can give me something to look forward to every day of the week.  USA's got me covered for Mondays.  Now, with this, New Girl, and Ben and Kate, I feel secure knowing I've got a full Tuesday night of laughs coming my way.  In short, Jeff is happy.  Well done, FOX.

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WEDNESDAY

(Fall)

8-10pm - The X Factor

(Spring)

8-10pm - American Idol

******************

THURSDAY

(Fall)

8-9pm - The X Factor Results Show

9-10pm - Glee

(Spring)

8-9pm - American Idol Results Show

9-10pm - Glee

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FRIDAY

8-9pm - Touch

9-10pm - Fringe

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SATURDAY

7-10:30pm - FOX Sports Saturday

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SUNDAY

7:30-8pm - The Cleveland Show

8-8:30pm - The Simpsons

8:30-9pm - Bob's Burgers

9-9:30pm - Family Guy

9:30-10pm - American Dad!

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MIDSEASON (Timeslots TBD)

THE FOLLOWING: (Again.  Another condensed pilot.  Jeesh.)  This looks slightly less involving than it was originally pitched to me.  When word of this series was first making the rounds, it was described as an interactive series in which our killer (played by the ever-underrated James Purefoy) would recruit viewers to be his "disciples" (sans the actual killing) in an unheardof ongoing, series-long viral campaign.  Now, that's been scrapped and we have this.  That's not to say it doesn't have a lot going for it.  This comes to us from Kevin Williamson who, for better or worse, has given us a lot of varyingly enjoyable works over the last 20 years (the Scream franchise, Dawson's Creek, The Vampire Diaries, etc.) and it's intriguing to see him mature, in a way.  Indeed, it's also worth some attention for being Kevin Bacon's first stab at full-time television work.  ("He's a big star.  He has a game named after him." -- Jerry O'Connell on an episode of Doug Loves Movies)  So, if for nothing else, for giving us a few more degrees for our games...
MY VERDICT: ...I might watch this.  I don't know why, but I just can't commit to anything more solid than a "might".  It's starting to become abundantly clear that I have somewhat specific tastes in television, and clearly, that doesn't include procedurals of any kind.  However, if this delivers on the promise of a wide, overarching story...things could change.  Although...one last thing...if the placement of the VERY jarring last line of this trailer is meant to imply that's the killer's motivation for ALL of his crimes...they may have just lost me.  Am I alone on that one?

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THE GOODWIN GAMES: Well, I guess there had to be one out-and-out dud in there, didn't there?  There are countless reasons why this won't work; I suppose I'll start with the most obvious.  There is ZERO flexibility to this premise, which isn't surprising when we're told this comes to us from the creators of How I Met Your Mother.  HIMYM--with all due respect--has already stretched its own premise pretty damned thin, but in its defense, it's all leading to a single, definitive answer.  This however...I mean, what are we going to do?  Are these people going to play futile game after futile game each week in pursuit of their inheritances?  Why should we care?  It's not that I don't think there won't be laughs to be had.  (HIMYM has proven itself a humorous affair many times over.)  It's just that I don't see how this goes any longer than a single season.  It breaks my heart to see creative minds pigeonhole themselves, and that's exactly what's happened here.
MY VERDICT: I won't seek this out, but I'm sure it'll end up on Tuesday nights with the rest of FOX's live-action comedies, so I'll likely see the pilot.  If nothing else, I'll get to swoon over Becki Newton for 22 minutes, but barring a huge miracle, I doubt I--or the rest of America--will bother investing themselves too deeply in this...but I've been proven wrong before.

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FINAL THOUGHTS:

Take note, NBC.  THAT is how you program a network.

Let's get right to it.

COMEDY!  Of the actual Fall offerings, FOX has scored big time.  Twenty--hell, even ten--years ago, would any of us have ever believed the network that brought us that ever-so-long list of cancelled attempts at quality television would currently be trouncing the home of Seinfeld, Friends and Cheers?  There's nothing more to say than "WELL DONE, FOX."

On the DRAMA side...well, all we've got in the fall is The Mob Doctor.  As I've said, the timeslot is worrisome, but the show looks solid. Again, "WELL DONE, FOX."

Seriously.  I have no complaints.  You'd think me disappointed, not being able to expand upon things further, but after the horrors that were NBC's fall line-up, I'll take impressed silence with a smile.

...and that'll do it for FOX.  Join me next time for a look at what the Walt Disney corporation is worth our eyes when I take a look at ABC.

Until then...great story. Compelling and rich.

...MEEP MEEP!