Welcome back to "Entertainment on Jeff's Terms", everybody.It's time to begin our journey into the networks' freshest product with my new ongoing series, Pilot Inspektor. Over the next few weeks--and peppered throughout the 2011-2012 TV season--I'll be taking a look at a great deal of the most intriguing new series coming to your idiot boxes this year.
We kick things off with a look at the return of TV's Buffy Summers and Richard Alpert in The CW's new Tuesday night drama series Ringer.
NOTE: I'll try to avoid spoilers, but I can't make any promises (especially with a show as complicated as this).
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THE GIST OF IT
Sarah Michelle Gellar headlines as recovering drug addict/former stripper/all around hot mess Bridget Kelly. In addition to all the this/that/the other I just mentioned, Bridget has recently been the sole witness to a mob-style killing and is currently under the protection of FBI Agent Victor Machado (Nestor Carbonell; dreamy as ever with his allegedly naturally-occurring eyeliner) who escorts her about her life in the days preceding her court testimony. With two days to go until said testimony, Bridget escapes her police escort and absconds to New York City to see her estranged twin sister Siobhan Kelly-Martin (also Gellar, of course). Siobhan is kinder, classier, and living a far better life than Bridget, and openly offers to take her in. However, during a DREADFULLY green-screened trip aboard a speed boat, Siobhan goes missing and is presumed dead, giving Bridget the opportunity to start anew in her sister's upscale life as trophy wife to self-made millionaire Andrew Martin (Ioan Gruffudd; best known as Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic in the godawful Fantastic Four films), who has never been told Siobhan has a sister. Complications arise almost immediately however as Bridget inherits an affair with her best friend's husband Henry (Kristoffer Polaha; last seen on The CW's Life Unexpected, but best known to me as Random Draper Family Neighbor #6 on Mad Men), Andrew's bitchy teenage daughter--and already my least favorite character--Juliet (Zoey Deutch; whose most prominent role to date was a recurring spot on Disney Channel's The Suite Life on Deck, so...yeah), and Siobhan's adorable ginger-haired aforementioned cuckquean (look it up) best friend Gemma (Tara Summers; a British actress best known to American audiences for a recurring role in the fourth and fifth seasons of Boston Legal). Oh, and did I also mention that Siobhan is ALSO being targeted to die AND is four weeks pregnant?--Because, yeah. That's a thing.
...and that's as simple, bare-bones, and spoiler-free as I can be about this show.
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MOVING FORWARD (SPOILERS AHEAD!)
So, after the episode-ending TWIST(!) revelation that our fancier sister Siobhan is alive, well, and apparently pulling the conspiratorial strings from a mirror-filled lair in Paris, where do we go from here (other than this inevitable link)? Bridget escapes one vaguely Native Amercian-looking mob hitman only to inherit being on some other thus-far unexplained force's hit list. Post-show previews suggest nothing more than Bridget-as-Siobhan's marital infidelity being revealed to at least one of the parties involved, Nestor Carbonell inevitably starting to realize something is amiss, Bridget's Narcotics Anonymous sponsor/lover from back home (Mike Colter; best known for his role as Big Willie Little in Million Dollar Baby) basically saying he's too old for this shit, and Siobhan-Actual (if you will) making angry conspiratorial demands over a cell phone wearing what appears to be a black leather version of Carmen Sandiego's traditional ensemble in some Parisian hotel lobby. According to Wikipedia, we've also got some B-plots involving the aforementioned Juliet, including the introduction of one of her school teachers played by Jason "Logan MOTHERFUCKING Echolls" Dohring in an apparently recurring role, so...that's cool.
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IN ESSENCE, MY FRIENDS...
...I'll see where this goes. I'm certainly disappointed it's more "Dynasty with mistaken identities" than the neo-feminist version of Quantum Leap I imagined during my Fall preview entries a few months back, but I'll deal. In a weird way, I'm kind of in the mindset many people I know held about Lost; I don't exactly love it (not yet anyway; we shall see), but there are a lot of interesting threads I'd like to see play out.
I realize how stupid the plot summary sounds; or at least, I realized it earlier today when trying to describe it to someone. I just kept getting to certain points like, "So, the former stripper and the socialite go out on a speed boat..." and just having to stop. This is clearly a "you had to be there" sort of thing, and the problem is The CW is weirdly selective about which of their shows get the "full episodes online" treatment. If the pilot is made available at any point in the next week, give it a shot. It'll certainly speak better for itself than I ever could.
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THESE ARE BLURBS
A few more stray thoughts on Ringer and then I'll get out of your hair...
- As pretty as it is, the chick-ballad version of Chicago's "25 or 6 to 4" that played during the montage of Bridget deciding to become Siobhan made it slightly impossible to take seriously.
- In other musical news, what is it with Joss Whedon alums and Patsy Cline's "I Fall To Pieces? It's honestly to the point that if they were ever on Buffy--or in less-frequent cases Angel, including the episode itself--you can bet Patsy Cline is sure to follow.
- ...and while I'm playing this game of "Six Degrees of Geek Things", call it me being ridiculous, but I kept finding connections to the cast's past works; particularly those of Gellar and Carbonell. EXAMPLES: Juliet. Tara Summers. The aforementioned Patsy Cline classic. I feel like there was a Richard AND an Alpert in there somewhere. Point is...I'm a massive nerd.
- Seriously...the green-screening during the speed boat scenes may have been the worst in television history. If you love kitsch, that may be your sole reason to watch this show.
- I really dig the way the show keeps us as much in the dark about Siobhan's life as Bridget is. Instead of moments of arbitrary tension whenever Bridget slips up and says something wrong, there's a deliciously constant sense of unease about when the other shoe is going to drop. Very few shows chock full of mystery and intrigue can pull that off these days, so kudos to you, Ringer.
- RINGER AIRS TUESDAY NIGHTS AT 9pm EST on The CW.
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...and that'll be it for my first pilot of the season.
Join me tonight in watching NBC's new comedy double-header of Up All Night and Free Agents at 10pm and 10:30pm EST, respectively, and then join me here tomorrow for a look at both new shows. Will Up All Night live up to my concerns about it being all star power and no laughs? Will Free Agents be as delightful as I think it will? We shall soon see.
Until then, does this make anyone else hungry for Burger King?
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