Clearing Out The Cobwebs

At long last, hello again, all five-ish of you!

What can I say? The summer was a cruel bitch with bitter herbs and spices.

I'll spare you the details (most of them, anyway) and just say that I spent the better part of most people's favorite season hitting an emotional low point I didn't think was possible. Those who know me best know that my instinctive defense mechanism in times like these is to completely shut down. I basically only speak to the people I absolutely have to and go into a self-imposed exile; particularly on the Internet, where I find most of my nearest and dearest after the geographical transitions I've made over the last fourteen months.

If it seems I've been avoiding any of you...well, yes I have...but not out of disregard to you. I simply don't like to burden the people I care about with my sad stories, especially when they're all I've got to tell, as has been the case for a few months now; even before I disappeared from this corner of the web.

So, in short...I apologize to anyone who has felt ignored or abandoned. Rest assured, it was for your own good.

BUT(!)...

This is "Entertainment on Jeff's Terms" and you didn't come here to read me pouring my heart out to the handful of people who read this that I know personally. You want thoughtful rants and analyses of the world of fanciful media distractions, and that's exactly what you'll be getting again in the coming weeks.

Starting either tomorrow (9/13) night or sometime Wednesday (9/14), I'll be kicking off a series of looks at a fair deal of the new Fall television premieres; mostly network but a couple of notable cable offerings as well. It's a new "Entertainment on Jeff's Terms" series I'm calling "Pilot Inspektor", named for beloved basic cable blues-singing detective and current up-and-coming Scientologist nutbar Jason Lee's only-in-Hollywood so-named son.

What pilots will live up to their promises? What pilots will just be...well, pilots? What pilots will surprise my very pants off? Find out this week when I'll tentatively be waxing intellectual and snarky about The CW's new Sarah Michelle Gellar series Ringer and NBC's new Wednesday night comedy one-two punch of Up All Night and Free Agents; the formermost and lattermost of which walked away with network-specific Fally Awards for Most Promising New Series.

Right now however, as the title of this piece suggests, I'd like to take a moment to catch up a bit. A lot has happened since last we met and as such, a lot of potential entries have faded away like so much dust in the wind. I now present to you a decent chunk of what those entries would have entailed; paraphrased and shrunk to near-oblivion, as well as a few random thoughts on the summer of entertainment that was.

******************

• Ah, "Community Service". What a promising fig you were. In case the levels of batshit insanity and utter conspiratorial paranoia I displayed in my look at the second season premiere weren't enough of an indication, I've decided that perhaps it's not best to look back at something that caused me so much pain. On a related note, I've all but decided against watching any of the show's third season, as it would appear that Dan Harmon and the gang have officially decided to completely eschew the clever, well-constructed human comedy of the first season in favor of yet more unfunny, pandering, Friedberg-and-Seltzer-esque non sequitur pop culture horseshit. A damned shame.
• One of the entries I'm saddest to see go was a look at a self-created term I use quite often in pop culture discussions: the Beef O'Brady's. Perhaps the day will come that I'll try once more to explain its use at length, but the short definition is a pop culture figure (movie, actor, TV series, band, you name it) that is so unbelievably overrated that I simply cannot comprehend its success or acclaim...
• ...such as the film that would have gone down in the history books as the first "Entertainment on Jeff's Terms" movie review: this summer's thoroughly (and inexplicably) overrated superhero clusterfuck X-Men: First Class. Poorly written, racially insensitive, and cheesier than anything Kraft's blue box has ever contained...I reiterate my utter disbelief at the level of adoration being tossed its way. After my first viewing, I thought it was okay; not good, not bad, just okay. Nothing more. Nothing less. However, after a summer full of allegedly educated and well-read cinematic minds gushingly declaring it better than far superior films like Spider-Man 2, one of its once-honored own precursors X2: X-Men United, and even the Academy Award-winning The Dark Knight (which even I'm only recently coming to view in positive terms)...my basic attitude is FUCK THIS MOVIE. I'm sorry if this bothers any of you. Blame the loudmouth zealots who've spent the past few months making me feel like less than a person for feeling the way I do.
• On a related note, when the original review of First Class fell through, I briefly considered an all-encompassing look at summer entertainment with an over/under theme. For example, the aforementioned mutant extravaganza would have been noted as the summer's Most Overrated Film, while the critically-savaged (and I stand by the fact that I don't understand why) Green Lantern would have been noted as the summer's Most Underrated Film. I'm sure I'll be called upon to defend these opinions soon enough, and I relish the opportunity to stand up for DC's Emerald Knight anytime, anywhere.
• Speaking of superheroes, now that the dust has settled, I have to say that in the battle of this summer's two Marvel Studios offerings, I must give the narrow edge to Kenneth Branagh's Thor over Joe Johnston's Captain America: The First Avenger. Both were spectacular, but if presented with a choice to be holding a DVD copy of one of these films in my hands right now, I'd give the duke to the God of Thunder in a heartbeat.
• Super 8 was a beautiful piece of filmmaking. 'Nuff said.
• My biggest pop culture guilty pleasure, WWE is undergoing a creative renaissance recently. Anyone who found themselves tuning in even semi-regularly during the late '90s-early 2000s heyday of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and The Rock would do well to check out the happenings on RAW as of late; particularly the work of CM Punk (the brilliant Phil Brooks) who is almost single-handedly making it as fun a two hours of television as it's been in the LONGEST time.

...and sooner that I anticipated, I believe that covers it. Not the best summer at the movies. Not the worst, either. Looking forward to the next few months and particularly the new year, for both personal and bloggery reasons.

If there's an aspect of my absence or the summer of entertainment that you feel I missed or didn't blurb enough about, please let me know in the comments. Other than that, I'll see you sometime in the next forty-eight hours for a look at the Slayer's return to television in The CW's Ringer.

Until then...this is awesome.