Good Thursday to you, dear reader!
Welcome to the belated day 2 of my annual-ish look at the broadcast network upfronts.
I hope you enjoyed my surprisingly minimalist look at the even more surprisingly top-seeded network, NBC...but now it's time to get serious.
I'll be honest. This is the entry I've been dreading the most. There's a pretty big elephant in the room, and I'm about to blow some minds by pumping it full of lead. (Apologies for the graphic imagery, PETA; but to be fair, you're a terrorist organization.)
Let's just rip this Band-Aid off and get started with my look at the new fall offerings from the FOX Network.
(NOTE: New shows are listed in ALL CAPS; schedule changes are indicated by italics.)
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MONDAY
8-9pm - GOTHAM
9-10pm - Sleepy Hollow
GOTHAM: (Sorry, Dumbo. Here's where you get it between the eyes.) I have never preemptively hated a TV show and its fanbase more than I do that of Gotham. I know that's going to surprise a lot of people, given my well-known love of all things comic book...but I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. This looks AWFUL, and I can't believe any self-respecting Batman fan (let alone the vocal millions) is on board for it. Now, I'm not traditionally one to take issue with creative license as it pertains to adaptations or interpretations, but this is already overstuffed with terrible ideas and plot points that fundamentally alter--nay, negate--key points of the entire Batman mythos. For one, I have no interest in seeing any of the Dark Knight's rogues gallery of villains before he's even put on the cowl. He doesn't exist because of them; THEY exist because of HIM. On a similar tip, one of the most important facets of the Caped Crusader's origins (and one that even Tim Burton got incredibly wrong in his original Batman film) is that the person who murders Thomas and Martha Wayne is just a common street thug who catches them in the wrong place at the wrong time. Here, we get a balaclava-adorned hitman-type, who clearly walks into Crime Alley with the express intent of offing the parents Wayne. Then to add insult to injury, we have young Detective Jim Gordon (Ben MacKenzie, who--despite all I'm saying--I think is perfectly cast) vowing to the newly orphaned Bruce that he'll find the man who killed his parents...and if he does, then why would Bruce ever feel the need to take to the streets and be the hero Gotham deserves?--Vengeance taken. Story over...and that's without even watching the trailer. (I mean, I have watched the trailer...but you get what I mean.) It seems that Batman as a concept has now taken on the kind of blind infallibility for my fellow nerds that zombies have; i.e. if it has Batman/zombies in it, it's automatically good and no one is allowed to say otherwise...even if the thing in question is terrible. (Looking at you, World War Z.) I think my feelings are clear.
MY VERDICT: NO. THANK YOU. (Full disclosure: I'll probably watch the pilot on Hulu out of my sense of nerdly duty and I'm willing to be surprised into liking this...but the outlook isn't good.) Now get off my back, everyone.
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TUESDAY
8-9pm - UTOPIA
9-9:30pm - New Girl
9:30-10pm - The Mindy Project
UTOPIA: I have to be honest. I pretty much went ahead and wrote this show off based entirely on the fact that it's a reality series...then I watched the trailer...and it gave me so many reasons that I was right to. As a concept, I can see the appeal; but knowing what sells in this genre (trashiness, inhuman behavior, drama for the sake of drama, etc.), I know it won't be as substantial or important as this trailer tries to suggest. Moreover, I'm a bit stunned to see a network make such a commitment (52 straight weeks, with a 24/7 online component) to a genre in which most of America has long ago lost interest. If this were on Discovery and weren't as sensationalized or self-important, I could see this working; but this is network television, where holding onto the more and more fleeting attention spans of the 18-34 demographic is key...and this probably won't do it.
MY VERDICT: In general, I just don't watch shows like this, so I'm already out. Not even the promise of attractive women in puffy coats is enough to catch my fancy.
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WEDNESDAY
8-9pm - Hell's Kitchen
9-10pm - RED BAND SOCIETY
[NOTE: For some reason, FOX hasn't released a trailer for Red Band Society; which is apparently NOT about a group of people who come together to watch uncensored movie trailers, but rather a group of teens who meet while in a hospital's pediatric care ward and then go out into the world and have...teen drama shenanigans. Oscar-winner Octavia Spencer stars as the nurse in charge. So, yeah. That's a show.]
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THURSDAY
8-9pm - Bones
9-10pm - GRACEPOINT
GRACEPOINT: I never got the chance to watch the British series (Broadchurch) that inspired this series. (Thanks, BBC America and your refusal to embrace online streaming.) I know many who have though and it sounds quite grim; which is not all that unexpected, coming from the mind of former Torchwood writer Chris Chibnall. I'm sure many of you are expecting me to have a fangirl fit over the presence of the Tenth Doctor himself David Tennant (reprising his role from the aforementioned Broadchurch), with his American accent (which has improved tremendously since his first attempt at a U.S. series, the ill-fated Rex is Not Your Laywer) that makes him sound like Griffin Dunne in the early '90s. While I'm always glad to see him, I can't in good conscience really SQUEE over something this serious. Obviously, this looks terrific and it seems to have brought its full emotional load over the Atlantic. It is a bit bizarre to see how sunny so much of this looks compared to the perpetual dreary grayness of the original ('MERICA!), but yeah.
MY VERDICT: This certainly sounds like a better way to spend my 9:00 hour on a Thursday than the two NBC comedies I discussed yesterday; and it's only ten episodes, so I don't really have to fear for its success/failure in the ratings either. What can I say?--I'm in.
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FRIDAY
8-9pm - Masterchef Junior
9-10pm - UTOPIA
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SATURDAY
7-10:30pm - Fox Sports Saturday
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SUNDAY
7-7:30pm - NFL Post-Show
7:30-8pm - Bob's Burgers
8-8:30pm - The Simpsons
8:30-9pm - Brooklyn Nine-Nine
9-9:30pm - Family Guy
9:30-10pm - MULANEY
MULANEY: As a big fan of John Mulaney's stand-up, I'm heartbroken at how--at best--blah and--at worst--terrible this looks. Mulaney as a concept has been floating in network limbo for about two years now. It was originally intended as a single-camera series on NBC, which was not picked up; and then stayed shelved for about 18 months before FOX scooped it up and made it a multi-cam/studio audience show. Now I can't decide whether I would have preferred the single-cam version or to have just never seen this at all. Now, this is not to say that there isn't potential here. As I say, Mulaney is a funny guy who has proven his mettle as a television writer for a number of seasons at Saturday Night Live (where he was most notably co-responsible for Bill Hader's Stefon character); so this could very easily just be a case of shitty trailer/shitty pilot, and let's face it--that's happened with a lot of great shows. I'm also bolstered by the fact that--by all accounts--there will be no laugh track, but rather the natural sound of the studio audience. Its timeslot worries me a bit, though. In press releases, FOX officials have repeatedly invoked the names of their three most successful live-action comedies (Married...with Children, That '70s Show, Malcolm in the Middle) as series that flourished on Sunday nights; but they seem to have forgotten that all of those shows eventually moved to different nights and either died miserably or found better success. Not to mention that over the last decade, Sunday nights have been the death of countless sitcoms (The Winner, The Pitts, Unhitched, etc.) and have only proven a good home for FOX's signature slate of primetime animated series. I guess what I'm trying to say is...
MY VERDICT: ...I'll watch it with cautious optimism. If it's better than it looks, great. If it survives its timeslot, even better...but I'm worried that one or both may not come true.
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MIDSEASON
BACKSTROM: I love Rainn Wilson. Obviously, his Dwight Schrute on The Office is an iconic character; but I'm even more a fan of his lesser-seen works like the insanely underappreciated 2008 film The Rocker and James Gunn's fantastic Super. (Big love should also go to his sadly to-date lone stint as host of SNL in 2007; an episode I refuse to delete from my DVR. It's THAT good.) When I heard talk of a mystery series starring Wilson as a curmudgeonly detective, I was in sight unseen. Having now seen this trailer...I have concerns. When the idea of Backstrom first came about, I expected something a bit darker, a bit more serious. Basically, I wanted House solving crimes. This seems more closely-hewn to a USA Network procedural like Monk or one of my favorites Psych, and I don't know how I feel about it. Not to mention the presence of go-to show killer Kristoffer Polaha, seen here as a forensics specialist. Between that and it being held for midseason (which is always a bit of a crapshoot), I can't decide if I'm willing to roll the dice here...and yet...
MY VERDICT: ...of course, I'm going to watch this. I may have understated it, so let me make it clear; Rainn Wilson is one of my favorite humans ON THE PLANET; and there is of course always a fascination with what happens when an actor follows up on their most iconic role. Fingers crossed, this turns out better than post-Seinfeld Michael Richards (and I'm not even talking about the incident at the Laugh Factory).
MY VERDICT: ...of course, I'm going to watch this. I may have understated it, so let me make it clear; Rainn Wilson is one of my favorite humans ON THE PLANET; and there is of course always a fascination with what happens when an actor follows up on their most iconic role. Fingers crossed, this turns out better than post-Seinfeld Michael Richards (and I'm not even talking about the incident at the Laugh Factory).
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EMPIRE: I would honestly watch Terrence Howard read the phone book. The man is one of the most underrated actors of the last 20 years, and it's about time he came back to television. I was a bit taken aback by how much I liked the look of this. A soapy family drama about the record industry sounds more suited to VH1, but this looks to be avoiding the more trashy aspects of such a concept...which could unfortunately spell its doom. Let's face it; the tastes of the American television viewer are really suspect right now. The 18-34-year-old demo is more interested in vodka-soaked catfights and flabbergasting soundbites from uneducated attention whores; and while this series will probably provide a few fictional spots of both, I don't know if that will be enough to sustain a network television drama. I'm bolstered a bit by the two names at the top of this project: Lee Daniels who has already given the world two critically-acclaimed works in Precious and The Butler, and Danny Strong (yep, Jonathan himself) whose screenplays for the latter of those films AND beloved HBO docudramas like Recount and Game Change have won veritable swaths of awards.
MY VERDICT: I look forward to seeing this, but have a bad feeling it may get the burned-off midseason treatment FOX's Gang Related is (probably rightfully) getting right now. If it's as good as it looks that it might be, I hope some cable outlets are ready to scoop it up.
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HIEROGLYPH: God, I love ancient Egypt. In this time of period piece fantasies like Game of Thrones and Starz's Spartacus series, it's high-time this--one of the most fascinating periods in human history--gets its due. Unfortunately, this show's got two very big things going against it; (1) it's a midseason series on a broadcast network (even worse, it's FOX) and (2) it comes to us from the writer of quite possibly the worst film I've ever seen (and to date, the only movie I've ever walked out of) Pacific Rim. When you've got a double-barreled shotgun blast of awful like that aimed at you, it's hard to muster much excitement or confidence. Really, at this point it's all about when FOX puts this on the air, and how well they promote it. After the surprising (and well-deserved) success of Sleepy Hollow though, this could have a chance. The supernatural sells like hot-cakes right now; and I don't know about you, but I want to know what's on that scroll.
MY VERDICT: I'm cautiously intrigued.
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WAYWARD PINES: The good news?--This series that's been on its way so long it actually made it into LAST YEAR'S upfronts looks awesome (despite M. Night Shyamalan's name being attached, which I'm a bit stunned they're actually using to promote it). The bad news?--After reports that it was scheduled to start airing this July, it's now been revealed we won't be seeing it until Winter 2015. I get the feeling it'll be worth the wait though (and hey!--It's Terrence Howard again!). This looks as fucked-up as everyone's overstated comparisons to David Lynch's Twin Peaks suggested it would be...and this pleases me. Not only that, this may be the best-appointed cast I've seen for the new season yet. Matt Dillon seems perfectly-grizzled. Carla Gugino, as ever, makes a great tragic beauty. The aforementioned Howard: SOLD. Crazy-ass Melissa Leo playing another crazy-ass character?--Of course. Juliette Lewis...hey, she's in this! (I kid. I actually like her quite a bit, but she seems like the one outlier.) Moreover, I'm liking the fact that an American network finally seems to be adopting the limited-series style that has served British television so well since...like, forever. In short, folks...
MY VERDICT: ...I can't wait. No matter what happens, we're getting ten episodes of batshit insanity, and I dig it. 2015 can't get here soon enough.
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THE LAST MAN ON EARTH: Whoa. If this never even makes it to air, this trailer should win a short film award somewhere at the very least. What a fantastic surprise this was! Originality is a dying thing, but I can safely say I've never seen anything like this. It's ballsy (especially for FOX; let alone any network), it's intriguing, it's funny and it's got Will Forte. I don't think this needs much more verbiage.
MY VERDICT: We have an official frontrunner for the most interesting new series on network television. Can't wait to see this, and I hope America and FOX have the patience to see where it goes.
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FINAL THOUGHTS:
There's a reason this is a day late, and it's called Gotham.
My dread for that show is so intense, I needed a 24-hour break after letting out so much well-deserved venom...and that's the last I'm going to talk about it; because (and even FOX doesn't seem to notice this) there are other new shows on this network.
In comedy, we have Mulaney and (fingers crossed, sooner rather than later) The Last Man on Earth. The former worries me deeply, while the latter has me fascinated in a way I haven't been since NBC's Awake trailer three years ago. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I really wish they would swap places right now.
In drama, there's a lot happening...however--much as in comedy--the most interesting new series are being held for midseason. Nothing against Gracepoint which looks like it could pretty much do no wrong, but with shows like...well, every other drama I've just covered waiting in the wings, this has turned into a bit of a waiting game (and I'm not even talking about Wayward Pines, which is literally coming slower than TWO Christmases). Backstrom could be fun, Empire a nighttime soap in the tradition of Dallas, and Hieroglyph reminds me of the wacky genre shows that were a staple of this network throughout the '90s. (It's even got Sliders' John Rhys-Davies, for God's sake.)
All in all, it looks like FOX is the frontrunner for the most intriguing new slate of series this year...
...but could another network dethrone it?!--Find out tomorrow, as I take on the latest additions to the primetime schedule over at ABC!
Until next time, here's Patton Oswalt to better explain my disdain for Gotham.
