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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Class Act #1: An Introduction and A Trio of Bloggery

It's three days shy of four months since "Entertainment on Jeff's Terms" was last open for business.

For the regulars, the explanation is simple. The last fifteen months of my life have been--without exaggeration--the worst period of my life to date. As of our last chance meeting, I was emotionally at my lowest, and there came a point when that negativity began to bleed into my ramblings...and you didn't come here for all that.

For both the regulars AND the uninitiated, I make my gallant return to you tonight at the urging (READ: assignment) of one of my new professors. That's right. I have returned to the halls of higher learning; now, at a popular rural North Carolina university. As such, in the coming thirteen-ish weeks, you'll be seeing more of me than you once did in those halcyon days I like to call "roughly May to September of 2011".

Presenting a new "Entertainment on Jeff's Terms" miniseries entitled Class Act (sadly, no relation), in which I shall periodically bring you my usual brand of tomfoolery in the pursuit of academic achievement.

TODAY'S TOPIC: A visit to three of my fellow online bastions of entertainment commentary and a brief analysis of each.

Let's begin...

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AUTHOR: Brand Rackley of Singletree Productions
ENTRY: "18 Alternate Universe Movie Posters"; posted January 19, 2012

In this entry, my good friend Brand Rackley brings us a collection of photoshopped movie posters for some of modern film's biggest hits in the style of mid-20th century cinema. A few of my favorites...
  • The Hangover Re-Imagined as a Rat Pack Romp - I'm one of those rarest members of my gender and generation who wasn't at all impressed with Todd Phillips' first entry in today's most unlikely comedy film franchise. While I enjoy all of the cast--particularly Zach Galifianakis, whose brilliant stand-up has been on my radar for over a decade--I just felt like I had seen every so-called "innovative bit" done countless times before to better, funnier effect in other films...but what if it had been the biggest comedy hit of 1964? The mere thought of a Blake Edwards-directed take on the material with Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis, and Jack Lemmon in the top-billed roles suggests a funnier, more memorable film than the real Hangover could ever hope to be. If only...
  • TV's Mister Spock in Die Hard - One can only imagine what the action genre would have been like had Leonard Nimoy been the one to take on the terrorists of the Nakatomi Plaza, instead of the young upstart Bruce Willis. I can't entirely picture Nimoy having the same kind of sarcastic charm as Willis' legendary John McClane, but who knows?--It could have been a breakthrough role for him, forever separating him from his most famous role as the U.S.S. Enterprise's Vulcan science officer. Moreover, one wonders how McClane's deliciously profane catchphrase would have gone over in the cinemas of the late 1960s. "Yippee-ki-yay...and live long and prosper." ...Perhaps.
  • The Duke is The Man of Steel - Perhaps the most fascinating proposition made by these posters, what if the classic Western hero John Wayne put on the blue tights and red cape and took on Spencer Tracy's cueball evil mastermind in 1966 Metropolis? Would these actors have been able to separate themselves from their most notable personas--Wayne, the quintessential cowboy and Tracy, one of cinema's most beloved fathers--to embody these roles, or would we remember Superman's first big-screen adventure as that bizarre film in which Rooster Cogburn flew through the skies and took on George Banks for the fate of the world? Actors always fear being pigeonholed into a certain kind of role, and while this would be a departure for both of these legendary leading men, it could have also marked the start of a new kind of typecasting for both of them.
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AUTHOR: Michelle Collins
Two weeks ago, Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe hosted Saturday Night Live and in addition to it being his inaugural appearance on the show, it was also the television debut of the musical guest Lana Del Rey. Del Rey had already made a bit of a name for herself on the internet for her true-to-life lyrics and classic crooner style. A lot of anticipation preceded this performance...and the result?--Almost universal negativity.
Watching the performance myself, I can't help but agree. She seemed awkward on the stage and was out of tune for the vast majority of both her performances. If anyone hadn't heard of Lana Del Rey that night, most of them may never want to again. The thing is, I can't help but think she brought this on herself. I, like many of us, know her to be talented. She isn't some Milli Vanilli-like creation. We know what she's capable of...unfortunately, she picked the wrong night to call an audible.

A few months ago, in a conversation with my best friend, I noted my disdain for those occasions when a vocalist will change the tune of their own popular song simply for the sake of variation. He used the example of Bob Dylan and explained that artists don't want to be "jukeboxes on a stage". Dylan performs multiple times a week, all over the country and you can be assured that you'll never hear the same version of "Like A Rolling Stone" twice. He doesn't want to become stale, so he's in a constant state of experimentation. I understand, for the most part.

However, we're talking about a newcomer to the popular American consciousness. Del Rey's most famous song "Video Games" is still only famous to those who happened upon it all those months ago. When you're introducing your voice to the world, you need to put your best foot forward and Del Rey simply didn't; not because she couldn't and not because she wasn't ready. It was a choice, and--near as it can be seen--a disastrous one, at that.

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AUTHOR: Amos Barshad
ENTRY: "Does Everyone Still Hate Katherine Heigl?"; posted January 20, 2012

Oh...the hours I could spend explaining why my response--at least for myself--is a loud, proud YES. For the sake of time, I'll keep my reasons brief.

She's arrogant. She's untalented. She purports herself to be an activist for stronger female lead roles and then takes on some of the most degrading parts possible. She throws her colleagues under the bus when projects fail (and they almost always do), and takes no responsibility for her own failings.

...I could go on...and perhaps I will in another entry (no, seriously; One for the Money's impending failure pretty much demands it), but for now...YES. GOD, YES.

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...and so ends the first edition of Class Act. There's plenty more to come, PLUS, more movie reviews, rants, and all the things you came to love for...roughly four months last year.

"Entertainment on Jeff's Terms" is back. Want to fight about it?